The Church, Your Mother

I have started going to a different church here in Knoxville, and feel that I have finally found a home at Redeemer Church of Knoxville (huge sigh of relief and contentment...)


It is a small church in the heart of the city, with a delightful mix of tradition and fresh perspective; simplicity with depth; and people of all ages and walks of life.  I feel known here, like a part of the family, and I realize that I have been searching for this for over a year.  It is also of the Presbyterian tradition - new for me, but I am finding much to appreciate.


We are currently doing a sermon series on the life of David, and today's focus was on "David and His Community" during the time that he was hiding from Saul in the wilderness, and people began to come out to him and join him, and then also during the time that he lived among the Phillistines (1 Samuel 22&27)


I was struck by several things as we looked at this passage:
Much of the Old Testament is a foreshadowing of Christ coming - and David himself often serves as this - a sort of forerunner to the ultimate king of Israel.  I was struck by how these verses describe those coming out to David in the cave of Adullam, his place of refuge, and how it is such a parallel of all of us coming to Jesus today:
"David departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam.  And when his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they went down there to him.  And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him.  And he became commander over them..."


The pastor was drawing parallels between the cave of Adullam (a place of sanctuary and community for David) and the Church today, and he made this statement, which really struck me:

"The church must be the King's place of safety and welcome."

Is Jesus "safe" and welcome in our churches today?  Do we accept Him as He truly is, on His terms, or do we try to put Him in boxes, make excuses for Him and the aspects of Him that we find confusing, or offensive, or even unpallateable?  Do we seek Him truly, and welcome Him among us?  We want to respond, yes, of course He is!  But is it true?  Because I fear the answer is becoming more and more often, just the opposite. 

I fear because many people that I talk to, who claim the name of Christ, are hesitant to even make the statement that He alone can save!  They'll claim Him as the means of their salvation, but feel it isn't fair or accepting or tolerant to make that statement for anyone else. And I have to wonder - how can we claim to know and live by the gospel, if we fail to even understand & proclaim that He is our only hope!  Not just "us" the Christians, but "us" humanity.  He is the only one in all of history who came after us when we rebelled against Him, who fought for us, who rescued us, who took our guilt and shame and death, transferring to us His innocense and freedom and life.  He is the only one who made a way for us to return to God.  And therefore - the only way back to God is through Him. 

This is good news!  There is hope where all seemed lost!  Yet somehow our culture has taken the infinitely good news that there is a way to be rescued, and twisted it, saying, "how closed-minded of God, to only make one way for people to come to Him. That can't be good at all, that I have no other options.  No, I don't think I want a God like that."  How incredibly ludicrous!  Who scorns a rescue helicopter, complaining that they didin't get to choose the means of their rescue?

Yet, as I was reminded once again today in my wonderful church, though the church is broken, twisted, fallen in many way, She is the Bride of Christ, and I must love her, because Jesus died for her, because I am her, because, as Augustine said, "The Church is a whore, but she is your mother."  I feel that the Lord has specifically called me to love and serve and minister to the Church in the U.S.  I don't know what that looks like long-term, but currently, it means working with college students - teaching them who Jesus is, who they are in Him, how to believe accurately about Him and His word, and to live accordingly (things that I struggle to live out myself!) 

Thankfully, we do it all by the grace of God.  And so I leave you with the Confession of Sin, and Words of Encouragement spoken over our congregation this morning (one of my favorite aspects of my new church home):

Confession of Sin

Lord Jesus, your church is a gathering of people who are at the same time sinner and saint. Since we have confidence that nothing will ever separate us from your love, we freely confess our sins to you now. Though we have been saved by the patient grace of God, we fail to deal patiently with one another. Though we know our own weaknesses and failures, we get frustrated wiht this same condition in others and treat them harshly. Though we are filled with hope because of the resurrection, we often become hopeless about your church. Though you have made your church one, we grieve that we have become a broken communion in a broken world. Dear Savior, forgive us. Thank you for never giving up on us; may we never give up on your Bride, your chosen partner, your beloved, your church. Amen. 

Words of Encouragement (Ephesians 5:25-27, Isaiah 1:18)

Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himslef in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Christians, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. 

Slacking.

I haven't written in forever.  I can't seem to get movtivated.  I would apologize, but then I thought about how it would be silly to post something that is done poorly and that I don't really want to write...so, yes. 

One day I will write again.

Today is not that day :)

Why Hello, Blog! Long Time, No See... (or type, or whatever.)

Well friends, it has been awhile, and I have been busy travelling about! 

I finished up in Charleston at the beginning of July, passing the torch of leadership on to students to run the project for the rest of the summer.  What an interesting process that was.  Here's some insight into what was going through my head and heart:
- Seriously?  We're just going to leave and they're going to carry on our jobs on top of all that they're already doing? 
- How on earth can I just hand over my Bible study and trust someone else to lead and disciple these girls?
- Lord, who should I choose, and how do I make this decision?
- I feel like I'm picking people apart...
- So many people have said that "project doesn't start until after staff leaves" and "yeah, I don't even remember much about project when staff was there"  -  well geez!  What am I doing here anyway?  Does my role even matter?
- What IS my role, really?
- This giving people the "freedom to fail" thing is hard....

But ultimately, it was so good for me.  Wanto to know why?  Because I had to do what Jesus has done with me.  I got a glimpse of Jesus' perspective on me, (except He knows how it will all turn out, and how He'll fix my mistakes, and all...).  But the point is, Jesus handed over leadership!  His mission, His purpose, His entire reason for becoming God incarnate and rescuing us - all of it He placed in our hands.  He left, and entrusted to us the message and ministry of reconciliation.  The entire advancement of the gospel was left in the hands of 12 guys who hadn't really proven themselves to be that bright so far.  I mean, the lives of people were at stake, the entire redemption of humanity rested with their faithfulness to preach the gospel!  (From that perspective, it wasn't as hard to hand over my Bible study and entrust the success or failure of the Outreach team to a couple students). 
Here's the thing though.  He didn't just peace out and leave us alone to guess our way through it all.  In fact, He said it would be better if He left, because then we'd have the Holy Spirit, who would enable and empower us to fulfill this mission in even more incredible ways than Jesus Himself carried it out while on Earth (it's true, I promise - check out John 16:7-11 and John 14:12).  So I can entrust leadership to the students I have chosen because I have prayed in the Spirit for wisdom to appoint the right people; those students have the Holy Spirit at work in their lives and I have seen His fruit in them, so He will be leading and empowering them too.  And it's His mission after all.  We're just invited into the process.  He will accomplish His purposes.  He has led and guided me, accomplished my victories and redeemed my mistakes, and He will do the same with them.  

Whew!  Pressure: off.  Leadership: handed over.  Summer: almost over.
Updates on the rest of summer soon to come!

Oh Law!

Something that I have been learning about myself this year is how very broken I still am.  I know that sounds depressing, but I hear it's a good thing.  Apparently, as we grow in the Christian life and get to know Jesus better and better, we also begin to recognize the brokenness and sin that is in us more and more as well.  So it's like a good and bad thing at the same time.  But what's incredible about this is, as I realize more areas of sin, brokenness, pride, lies that I believe, etc., I also am more and more actuely aware of my absolute need for the gospel.  I am broken.  I have an utter need for a Savior that didn't disappear when I gave my life to Him - it simply is, and will never change.  I will always need Jesus to be my righteousness, for I have none in myself apart from Him.  Even if I do a good thing, my motives are all broken and twisted. 

What we church people tend to do is have this moment in our lives when we become aware of our sin, recognize our need for a Savior, choose to give our whole selves to Jesus because we recognize the truth that He is our only hope....and then try to bust out goodness and righteous living from that point on in our own efforts and power, because, after all, we're supposed to be "good Christians" now. We come to Christ based soley on His grace, but then in our practical living, we place ourselves back under the Law - trying to earn God's favor by our righteous acts.  We get caught in cycles of guilt when we fail, rather than being amazed at the continued grace of Christ in our lives, and we fail so often becasue we feel like we should be able to be righteous in our own power now, rather than relying on His righteousness to flow through us. 

Preach the gospel to yourself every day. 

This is what I have been teaching my girls this year, and am teaching my D-group this summer as well, through Tim Keller's study on Galatians.  One of my favorite sections is a section that Keller includes from Martin Luther's intro. to Galatians:

"Oh law!  You would climb up into the kingdom of my conscience, and there reign and condemn me for sin, and would take from me the joy of my heart which I have by faith in Christ, and drive me to desperation, that I might be without hope.  You have overstepped your bounds.  Know your place!  You are a guide for my behavior, but you are not my Savior and Lord of my heart.  For I am baptized, and through the gospel am called to receive rigtheousness and eternal life...So trouble me not! For I will not allow you, so intolerable a tyrant and tormentor, to reign in my heart and conscience - for they are the seat and temple of Christ the Sond of God, who is the king of righteousness and peace, and my most sweet savior and mediator.  He shall keep my conscience joyful and quiet in the sound and pure doctrine of the gospel, through the knowledge of this passive and heavenly righteousness."

Good stuff, that. 

"Getting to Know You"

We've had a great time over the past week as students have spent a lot of time getting to know one another and beginning their jobs, ministry teams, discipleship groups, etc. 

One of the highlights of last week was our "Low Country Boil" night!  We cooked up a HUGE pot of shrimp, potatoes, corn, and sausage and everybody had their fill.  Talk about some amazing food!  The students also had a great time chatting and getting to know one another as we waited for dinner to be served.

Yummmmmm....

On Saturday we had our first beach outreach.  I have continued to be incredibly impressed by the high caliber of the students that we have here on project.  They all seem so eager and ready to learn, grow, and jump in to share the hope that they have found in Christ.  We planned several ways of initiating with people on the beach, including playing corn hole and volleyball; providing a tent with the Soularium survey, an art expression wall (pictured above), and free water; and then sending students out in pairs to simply initiate spiritual conversations with people on the beach using Soularium.  We expected people to mainly want to stick around the tent or play cornhole and volleyball, but the majority of students wanted to go out in pairs to talk with people!  Seriously, these students are gung-ho about evangelism!

We wanted a non-traditional question that would cause people to think and also provide a way to get into spritual conversations.  Many times we ask people how they view God, but not how they believe He views them.  It was cool to see people consider this question and respond by writing their responses. 

Like I said, our students were awesome about taking the initiative and jumping right into conversations with people, sharing about Jesus and how He has changed their lives.

Last night was our first D-group Bible studies!  I took my girls to dinner at a famous local place called Taco Boy (incredible guacamole!), and we decided it was a great time for a photo.  I have also begun my first discipleship appointments with my girls this week.  There are five girls total in my D-group, and so far it has been great getting to know them.  It is a little overwhelming realizing that I only have 5 weeks to get to know them and figure out how to best pour into their lives in such a short amount of time.  I feel like everyone has such high expectations of learning and growing and being transformed on summer project, and I can begin to put the pressure on myself to be the one who causes that growth.  I have to constantly remind myself that the Lord is the one who transforms lives, not me, and if anything is to happen in their lives through my influence, it will totally and completely be through His Spirit working through me.  So I'm having to keep reminding myself to get on my face before the Lord, recognize my inability, and ask for Him to work through me. 

The schedule here has been pretty intense, so moments of rest are precious to us, and SO life-giving!  This was my Sunday afternoon activity, and probably the best few hours of my week :)

"He leads me beside the still waters

He restores my soul..."

~Psalm 23

Time in Sweet Caroline (South, that is...)

Hello friends!  After a couple of weeks in Charleston, I decided it was time to write about it and give you a peek at some of what I've been doing, the sights I've been seeing, the people who are quickly becoming my family while I'm here, and the FUN we've been having! 

I really like Charleston.  I love old, historic areas in general, and Charleston definitely exceeds my hopes and expectations.  One of my faovrite things about the city is that people bike all the time.  I brought my bicycle and have been exploring the city - bouncing down cobblestone streets, making note of all of the quaint locally owned coffee shops, enjoying parks, and taking in the scenery along the river.  I have also found a great running route right along the river, complete with great views and a nice breeze the whole way!

Don't you wish you could look a this on your morning run? 

The first week here was spent with just the staff team (which is pretty much an all-star team, if I can just make that quick judgment - we seriously have an amazing staff team and I'm so blessed to work with such great people!)  We had lots of meetings, spent lots of really good intentional time getting to know each other deeply, and also just hung out and had fun together.  A strongly bonded staff team is a really important aspect of a healthy and great summer project. 

One day, we went on a historic boat tour! We learned all sorts of things about the history of Charleston, got to be out on the water, and just enjoyed the river together.  This photo of the famous Cooper River Bridge was taken from the boat.  Charlestonians are really proud of this bridge for some reason.

One thing I have really appreciated about working for Cru is that the organization as a whole really values the overall health of its staff.  We are encouraged to take time for ourselves, take care of our bodies, and do what we need to do to stay healthy in all areas of life - physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.  One way that they really care for our spiritual health is by scheduling a "Day with the Lord" once a month in which we take a whole day to just be alone with God.  No phone calls, students aren't allowed to call us unless there's an emergency, and we just rest and delight in the Lord.  On project we also have time scheduled into our week - both for the staff and the students - for time alone with the Lord. 

Sunday afternoon I spent my time with the Lord in this park.  It was lovely.

My new favorite park.  Next time I'm bringing my hammock!

My favorite term is "on the project."  Translated - something fun that was planned for and budgeted into our project cost from the beginning; a.k.a. - we get to do it for free!  One of these lovely events was a minor league baseball game that we went to as a staff team.  Much fun was had by all!

Some of my coworkers - Aaron, Pete, and Sarah - at the baseball game. Sarah is also my roommate for the summer.  She is great.  

In case you though Cru staff people are past their prime and are really boring and no fun at all, I have proof that we can be as crazy as our students!  Once the students arrived, we planned a scavenger hunt for them in downtown Charleston so that they could become familiar with the city.  They got bonus points for finding staff members at some key locations.  I don't think they expected us to disguise ourselves quite as well as some staff did...

Pete and Chad's attempt at thwarting students from finding them.  It worked pretty well.  Also, Chad (on the right) is our project director, a.k.a. - my boss.  Don't you wish he was your boss too?

We really like working together!

So now that students are here, we've been doing a lot of orientation and training for them this week, but in the next few days they'll get into their work schedules and routines, and project will begin to get a steady pace, which we're all pretty excited about.  Today is a day packed full.  We just finished evangelism training, and we're about to head to the beach this afternoon to put that training to use as the students do some initiative evangelism.  Then we have a smoothie night this evening.  It should be a great day.  I'll let you know how the outreach went in the next couple of days! 

Looking Back, Building Altars

I read the blog of a friend a few weeks ago who spoke about altars, and it has been resonating with me ever since.  The Old Testament is full of God commanding His people to build altars.  We usually just read those parts quickly, thinking it was some weird Ancient Near Eastern cultural thing that isn't really relevant to us anymore. But this friend pointed out how the Lord isn't really interested in a pile of rocks; the reason He commanded His people to build altars was so that they would remember. The word "memorial" is even often used in these altar-building commands of His.  He knows us initmaely.  He knows how limited our vision is, how we forget so easily the ways He has cared for us, providing for our every need; and go straight into panic mode every time an obstacle comes across our path. 

So He tells His people to build altars - physical monuments to what He has done, how He has worked, the truth that He is for us, not against us.

As the students are taking exams, and the our time on campus is wrapping up until August, I want to take a moment and build some altars - worshipping the Lord for what He has done this year, and remembering the ways that He has worked.  This will in no way be a comprehensive list (He's done a lot this year!), but there are certain sweet moments that I have kept coming back to this week, and I want to share them with you. 

The spring semester has been a really incredible time of watching my Bible Study girls grow in their understanding of the gospel. I literally watched them grow in new ways every week.  Most of them grew up in Christian families, but they began to learn how the truth of the gospel - that we are saved by grace alone through Jesus's sacrifice - is more than the moment they decided to follow Christ, but the thing that defines their acceptance, their righteousness, their position before the Father each and every day.  They learned to plead the blood of Christ as their righteousness regardless of how "good" they thought they were being as Christians.  They began to really walk in the freedom that the gospel brings, and it is a beautiful sight. 

In February, I was struggling with how to confront one of the girls that I disciple about a sinful attitude that I saw in her.  I wanted to speak truth, but gently, because it was tied up in her own view of herself as less than who she really is in the eyes of our Father.  But before I had a talk with her, she came to me, asked to talk, and said that the Lord had convicted her of the very thing that I was going to confront her about.  And He gave her much more insight into the issue than I would have been able to!  Praise Him for working in hearts and preparing the way before me.  And I am so thankful for girls who are listening to the Holy Spirit as He reveals truth, and are willing to submit to His discipline!  What a blessing. 

I was training some of my girls to use one of Campus Crusade's evangelism tools on campus a couple of weeks ago, when we ran across a student organization that was hosting an event outside in the amphitheatre. It was a progressive students movement, representing different causes ranging from how to live in a more communal, socialist type society, feminism, a woman's right to choose, etc. They were holding a "Really Free Market," which basically means that everyone showed up with something to offer for free.  Some people brought clothing, some gave free manicures, some offered baked goods, some gave information about certain causes, etc. The girl that I was with said, "well, we have something to offer that is free!"  So we sat down, made a sign that said "Free Conversation," and proceeded to discuss questions like, "What would you like your life to be like right now?"  "What best describes your view of God?"  "What does your spiritual journey look like, and where do you want it to be headed?" In a group of people who were mostly agnostic and atheist, and generally had very negative views of Christianity, we were able to engage in honest and open conversation about God and life and spirituality.  They appreciated our time and the conversation, genuinely thanking us, and inviting us to come back to the next "Really Free Market," even making sure we knew the time and place!  I pray that the Lord uses that positive interaction to make them a little more open to Him and hearing the gospel in the future.

One of my girls admitted that she was terrified the whole time she was doing evangelism for the first time, and knows that she will be again, but still asked me to give her materials before the semester ends so that she can use them to share with people at the pool this summer.  This is the attitude toward and heart for evangelism that we have been praying for our students to have (and it is what I continue to pray for myself as well - she's right, it can be scary!) 

These are only a few of the ways He has been working this year, but it just amazes me every time I think about it.  He is working in the lives of our students.  He is instilling in them a heart for evangelism, and building them up as gospel-centered believers, rooted and grounded in His love, knowledgeable in the Word, and walking in His Spirit.  He is showing me that He is bigger than my successes or failures as a campus minister, and delights to use me in spite of me.  It has been an incredible year, and I can't wait to see how He works in the lives of students in Charleston this summer!